Friday, June 1, 2007

My (A)Spiritual Situation

As we move toward starting our church, I have spent the last week primarily on articles of incorporation, bylaws, and a budget proposal. None of these strikes me as a particularly spiritual endeavor. In fact, the month we have been in Huntington has been somewhat a-spiritual for me. The passion God grew in me to begin this church that drove me to Him in so many ways in the months leading up to our departure from Denver has been buried under paperwork. This gets compounded by the fact that I fight regressing to the person I was growing up. It's funny how location can have power over us mentally and emotionally.

I digress. Last weekend I was on my way back from Aurora after a great weekend with friends from college, and during the last twenty minutes of my drive I started having some horrible fears that I've never had in my life. I quickly became aware that they were from Satan, and I began to pray that God would take them away. Despite my prayers, they grew in intensity all the way home. They have subsided now, but that evening was a strong reminder to me that we are involved in something intensely spiritual. Though I don't enjoy the attack, I took a couple important things from it.

First, we must be doing something Satan doesn't want us to do. In my experience and in the experience of others I've talked to, that is when attacks seem to come most. Second, I'm thankful for the reminder that I am desperately in need of strength from God. I may be able to fill out paperwork on my own, but I can't fulfill his call on my life on my own. I was grateful to be reminded of my dependence on Him.

2 comments:

Meagan said...

I went to Addulam this past weekend and they were handing out 'Life Journals'. After reading yesterday's reading plan I thought of you. This is what it said: 'In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps' Proverbs 16:9 Thanks for helping me understand more :-) Miss you!

Kristen said...

It's amazing to consider the spiritual attacks on those involved in planting a church. That has been one of the biggest struggles every core member of our leadership team has faced over the last 10 months - when we stop and realize that we are under spiritual attack - everyone's situation looks different, but Satan does not want this church to get off the ground. Hang in there and keep praying! We are focusing on prayer this summer, much needed in our church and community, and easy to forget about. Hope you're doing well!